they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
