am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
