If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
