I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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