Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
