As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
