Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
