I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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