the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
