yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
