She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
