3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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