I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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