Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
