it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
