I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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