...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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