My room smells like vodka and shame
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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