Sponge bath it is.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize