Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
