marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
