Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
