Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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