You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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