in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
