is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
