Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
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I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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