Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
please come you make the beer taste better
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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