I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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