i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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