just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
