you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
