my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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