I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
