Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
