I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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