Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
not ubering you a puppy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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