I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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