Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
