I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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