Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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