I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
