im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
