What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
