Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
