I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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