who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
