I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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