What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
