What tipped you off? The sombrero?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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