He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
