it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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