week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
