How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
