..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
