im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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